


Bloodlust

by someone_else_else



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Feeding, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Saphael, saphael fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:03:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7947202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_else_else/pseuds/someone_else_else
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Simon Forgets to feed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What's wrong with him

They where at the docs when it happened. Simon, Izzy, Clary, Jace, Alec, Magnus, Luke, the whole gang. They where talking, laughing at something Jace had said. But not Simon.

Simon couldn't hear anything over the buzzing in his ears, the sunlight blinding even as it set. The only thing he could hear was the sound of everyone's hearts beating. The slow offbeat thud that signified blood passing though their veins, circulating through their bodies.

Blood. The thought sent a pang of hunger through him. Everyone around him smelt so good, even the werewolf. Maybe one of them wouldn't mind if he just took one small bite...

"Simon!" Clary called, her voice shattering his reverie. "Hello? Earth to Simon!"

He tried to answer, but the words just wouldn't come, and his gaze stayed frozen on the pulse point in her neck.

"Simon?" Isabelle called, her words a mix of worry and fear. "Simon, are you okay? You're starting to scare me."

Simmons gaze turned from his best friend to her girlfriend, and he gave a slight smile, his fangs sliding out.

She gave a shocked gasp, her face contorting into a mask of horror. Her big brother Alec reaching a protective arm in front of her, breathing out a low "Watch it vampire."

Magnus, knowing full well what was happening, locked eyes with the vampire and called out:

"Clary, sweety, why don't you come on over here. Slowly."

"Why? Magnus, what's happening? What's wrong with Simon?"

"Is fine biscuit. Just come on over this way."

"What's wrong with him? Will he be ok?"

"Clary, now! And bring the blonde one."

She reluctantly obeyed, grabbing Jace by the hand and edging carefully around Simon.

Once they where all close enough around Magnus, the warlock put up a protective dome around all of them.

"Magnus, what's happening?" Questioned Jace.

"Questions later, Blondie." Came Magnus' response. "For now, Alexander I need you to pull out my phone, it's in my back pocket, and call Raphael."

About a minute passed before you could hear the grumpy voice of the New York vampire clan leader on speaker phone.

"What do you want? It's early."

"Raph, we're at the docs. Come quick. It's about Samantha."

"I'm on my way."

Alec hung up and shoved the phone into his sweater pocket.

"Now tell us, what's wrong with Simon?"

As if on queue, the vampire stood and walked over to the glowing blue bubble that was separating him from his friends, never breaking eye contact with magnus  
He pressed his hands up against it, testing is strength, and up close everyone could see that his skin had gone impossibly paler; his fangs, pointed and gleaming, stuck out over his chapped red lips; and his eyes had gone black, the pupil swallowing the chocolate brown irises. Altogether, it was terrifying.

Surprisingly, it was Luke that answered Alec's question. His answer was simple, one short word. But that one word made every one of them gasp and cast fearful glances at each other and Simon. "Bloodlust." was all he said.


	2. Feeding

It took Raphael a good 5 minutes to get from the hotel Dumort to the docs, navigating threw the dark, half-empty streets, guided by the scent of his friends. The first thing he noticed upon arrival was a very tired looking Magnus crouched on the ground, his back rested against his boyfriend's chest. His arms where outstretched with blue sparks flowing from his finger tips, into the protective dome that surrounded all of his friends - all of them except Simon, who was nowhere to be seen.

Magnus had no doubt shown of his magic to those around him, causing him be this weak. So when he asked where Simon was, it was Luke, head of the new York wolf pack, that answered him, saying that Simon had disappeared behind some of the shipping crates.

Smelling another vampire, Simon emerged from hiding and pounced on Raphael with a low hiss, fangs barred. They landed on the cold pavement Raphael pinned under the fledgling. It didn't last long, the older vampire flipping them over with ease. He exposed his fangs in a menacing manner, his lips curling back to reveal a full set of sharp teeth. Raphael, in turn, hissed, eliciting a snarl from Simon as he shoved his leader off.

They circled each other a few times, before the younger of the two charged and was quickly pushed off by the elder vampire. They repeated this a few times, Raphael thinking: What has gotten into him?

His unasked question was answered when Simon charged, again. Raphael made a low, preditorial, growling noise at the back of his throat deflecting the fledgling's advances and for the first time noticing his eyes.

"Dios, when's the last time you fed?" Raphael questioned to no one in particular, knowing Simon wouldn't answer in this state.

Before Simon could charge again, the older vampire bit into the vein on his wrist, instantly drawing blood. This seemed to capture Simon's attention, his gaze zeroing in on the thick crimson liquid.

"Come and get it." Then Simon was on him, his nails digging into the soft flesh of Raphael's wrist, drinking greedily from the wound.

Raphael moaned, his knees going weak as he crumpled to the ground bringing Simon down with him. Though it was not uncommon for vampires to drink from each other, it was an extremely intament act. He moaned again as the young fledgling's tongue darted out locking up the excess blood that flowed though the picture wounds. Simon continued to no and suck at his wrist as Raphael pulled him against his chest whispering sweety nothings in Spanish.

"Shhh, no está mal."

"Te tengo."

"Estarás bien. Te tengo."

"Acaba de beber."

Eventually the bloodlust passed, Simon's eyes returning to their usual chocolaty color, his fangs sliding back into his gums as he crumpled into Raphael's kneeling form. Raphael lifted him bridal style, and ran of into the night, in the direction of the hotel Dumort, leaving magnus and Luke to explain the frightening events of that night to Simon's worried friends.


	3. At the end of the day

Simon stirred, his eyes cracking open only slightly, letting in the artificial light of the grand chandelier hanging from the high vaulted ceilings of his boyfriends bedroom. He didn't remember going to Raphael's room, or even falling asleep. He couldn't remember anything from last night. Maybe he and Raphael had gone to the club again and he just had too much to drink? Or he had passed out from exhaustion, or starvation-

Now he remembered. 

He remembered the sound of hearts beating, pumping blood. The coppery smell of the thick crimson liquid. The undeniable hunger that grew stronger and stronger with every minute he didn't feed. He remembered the terror in his friends' voice as that hunger slowly consumed him. Their pleading urgency for him to regain control. The thud of their shoes as they ran away from him.

Simon wished he could disappear. He wished that the expensive silk sheets would open up and swallow him whole. When he heard the quick tap-tap-tap of Raphael's pacing at the end of the bed he wished even harder, so that he wouldn't have to face his boyfriend. But he did. 

He sat up slowly, watching his feet as they hit the cold floor. At the other end of the room Raphael had stopped pacing, but Simon didn't turn to look at him, his gaze remaining fixed on his shoes.

"Magnus called me from the docs, said something was wrong." The older vampire began, "When I got there, all your friends were gathered in one of his magic bubbles. But you weren't there. They said that you had run off somewhere, and warned me to be careful. Then you jumped out at me, and attacked me. I got you under control and brought you back here."

"Did I hurt anyone?" Simon asked, his voice pathetically small.

"Your friends where terrified but got away unharmed."

"Did I hurt you?"

"I am physically unharmed."

"Raph, I'm sorr-"

"Callate! Basta!" Simon flinched at his boyfriend's shouts, shutting-up instantly. He waited patiently as Raphael came around the bed to stand in front of him. "Sorry isn't going to cut it, Simon! You could have died! When is the last time you fed? Answer me!"

"Two weeks."

"Two- Dios- two weeks? Two whole weeks? Que demonios?" He shouted. Raphael took a deep breath, collecting himself, and turned his back on Simon.  "Just... Tell me why?" He asked in an almost deadly calm that made Simon tremble.

"Raph, you- you have to understand- I tried, I really did," Simon pleaded, near tears, his voice shaking. "I tried so hard. But I just couldn't. Every time I see a glass of blood- or a- a bag I can't help but think, 'this used to be a person. A living, breathing, person. With hopes and dreams and a family.' And they died for me. So that a monster like me could live another day, even though I don't deserve it! I shouldn't even be here! I should be dead! Dead and buried! But I'm still here, drinking the blood of innocent people who probably deserved to live more than me and I just- I can't-" Simon broke off with a sob, his eyes screwed shut, curling in on himself. He clutched at his chest with so much force his knuckles turned white, mumbling over and over "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I tried, I'm sorry."

A soft thud resonated throughout the room as Raphael's knees collided with the marble tiles at Simon's feet. He brought a hand up to his cheek and softly swept away the tears.

"Simon"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"Simon, open your eyes."

Sinon did as he was told but refused to look Raphael in the eyes. He continued to mutter apologises as he rocked back and forth on the expensive bedding, sobbing.

"Look at me, please."

"Please don't be mad." Whispered Simon, finally glancing up at him from underneath his lashes. 

"I'm not mad, mi amor. I just need you to understand, that you need to talk to me. I know how you feel, I was a fledgling too. I hated feeding- I hated it so much. But I had someone there to help me- someone to guide me. Cause all of this, it gets better. I promise. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to walk a few miles to get to it."

"Better hope it's not sunlight." Simon ads with a laugh. It is a small and broken laugh, but it is a laugh all the same. 

"Would you shut up, I'm trying to have a moment." 

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." He smiles, for real this time, and he dries away his tears.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to say though?"

"Yes, I get it. I'll try harder, I'll talk to you, I'll get it right. I'm-"

"Don't you dare apologize." Raphael cuts in. "Now, I'm going to get us dinner, you will stay here and wait for me, then you will eat with me, entendido?"

"Sir, yes sir!" Simon answered, punctuating it with a salute and his best army face.

His boyfriend fit to his feet, rolling his eyes, and excited the room. 

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Raphael pushed open the heavy wooden doors carrying a pitcher full of blood and two crystal glasses. 

"I brought-" he began, when suddenly he noticed the small heap under the covers. 

He placed the tray on the bedside table, and took Simon's hand. Raphael placed a soft kids on the back of his knuckle, a gesture that comforted the both of them. 

"Duerme bien, mi amor." He whispered. Raphael toed off his shoes and slipped into bed with Simon, his fingers curling into his lover's hair. It was perfect. He was ok, Simon was ok, everything was fine.

At the end of the day, they would alway be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SO SORRY GUYS SCHOOL STARED AND I WAS SO BUSY BUT THEN I SAW ALL YOUR KUDOS AND COMMENTS AND I WAS LIKE OK YOU HAVE TO FINISH THIS FOR THEM AND SO I DID AND IT's not my best writing (Raphael is a bit ooc and there's details missing) but its 2 am and i have school tomorrow and please don't hate me!!!!!! I love you guy thank you so much for all of your reactions, I dont deserve you guys.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, this chapter is really short! I'll try to make them longer


End file.
